What better way to make your day than with funny dog quotes? I've rounded up some of the funniest dog quotes I could find.
Save this post for a rainy day or print it out and stash it in your emergency box for whenever you need a good laugh.
40 Funny Dog Quotes
“Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” - Unknown
“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” - Anne Tyler
“My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!” -Greg Curtis
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” -Charlotte Gray
“If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.” - Unknown
“A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. ” – Robert Benchley
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.” – Fran Lebowitz
“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” - Unknown
“I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!” - Jonah Goldberg
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx
“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” - Dave Barry
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted” - Sian Ford
“A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” - Helen Thomson
“You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.” - Unknown
“I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” —Bonnie Schacter
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” — Joe Weinstein
“If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.” - Unknown
“No home decor is complete without dog hair.” - Unknown
“The best therapist has fur and four legs.” - Unknown
“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” - Unknown
“Without my dog my wallet would be full my house would be clean but my heart would be empty.” - Unknown
“Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.” - Unknown
“If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.” - Unknown
“Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take…I’ll be watching you.” - Unknown
“This home is filled with love and dog hair.” - Unknown
“Beware! Dog can’t hold its licker.” - Unknown
“Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” - Unknown
“Life without a dog is like an unsharpened pencil. It has no point.” - Unknown
"What I like most about people is their dogs." - Unknown
“Less people, more dogs.” - Unknown
“Dogs are my favorite people.” - Unknown
“The only person who understands me is my dog.” - Unknown
“I don’t who care who dies in the movie, as long as the dog lives.” - Unknown
“I am one dog short of crazy.” - Unknown
“If our dog doesn’t like you, we probably won’t either.” - Unknown
“Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative.” - Unknown
“Leave me alone – I’m only speaking to dogs today.” - Unknown
“The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.” - Unknown
“When I die my dog gets everything.” - Unknown
Related: 35 Relatable Dog Mom Quotes
If you want to spoil your dog, check out our line of species appropriate dog treats - we only use ingredients that actually benefit your dog.
 |
 |
 |
| Beef Liver | Dog Treat Sample Pack | Turkey Pumpkin Bites |